When I was one,
I had lots of sun,
When I was two,
I sat on the lou,
When I was three,
I was verry wee,
When I was four,
I saw a big brown door,
When I was five,
I was not aloud to drive,
When I was six,
I ate a twix,
but now I seven I'm clever as clever so I think I'll be seven for ever and ever.
I have been clearing off the book case and found an old year 3 English book of Reds. The poem above was copied spelling mistakes and all directly from this book.
Also in the book is a list of his seven year old "likes"...
I am funny,helpful, kind and silly.
I have blond hair, nice teeth and blue eyes.
I like running, skiping, litracy, maths, walking, dancing and pie.
At school I enjoy playng, writing, maths, reading, drawing, being helpful and listening.
My family is kind and nice. I have two brothers there names are Chay and Fintan.
I especially liked the "and pie".
Monday, 6 September 2010
Thursday, 15 April 2010
Letting go...
After writing the post below I can finally let it go. Its there in black & white if I need to see it again but I can use the space in my head for other stuff now. This is a good day.
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Seven years ago....
today I was pacing the Family room at an Essex Hospital waiting to find out if my Mum would live.
About a year earlier she had started to experence some shoulder pain and a long round of Doctors appointments followed. She has private health insurance so all the visits were quick and clean and helpful. It was finally suggested that she have a cortisone injection in her spine under ultrasound to ease the pain and give the shoulder a chance to recover. We discussed this option and came to the conclusion that it could only help, I mean...what could go wrong? Its only a jab.
The day after the injection she called me to say that she felt unwell and asked what I thought she should do. As my stepdad P, was at work, I told her to have a snack and a drink if she could, go to the toilet and then lay down. Thinking that (like a baby), at least she would be clean and fed and watered if she had to lay down for a while before he arrived home. Little did I know then how prophetic this would be.
When P came home from work and she was in a lot of pain, he called the Doctor who had given her the injection who advised pain killlers and rest.
The following morning she was even worse and another call was made. They arranged for the Doctor to visit later that day and Mums cleaner was left on duty while P went to work.
He came, not a lot happened and he left. He thought that it was just a side effect of the jab and that it would wear off soon. All the while she was in agony.
That Sunday was Mothers Day and I had planned to take the children to see her for lunch. P called early to say that Mum wasn't really up to visitors. I could tell by the tone of his voice that she was in a bad way so I left the children at home and drove to her.
When I arrved she was slumped in a wing back chair next to her bed,I honestly thought she was dead. She was so pale and her breathing was very shallow. P had been on the phone to the local private hospital begging them to send an ambulance to collect her but they insisted it wasn't necessary. I felt so helpless, I could see that she was dying but no-one would listen. I even considered calling the police, I was so confused. Finally he called an NHS ambulance and while we waited I collected all of her medical notes, x-rays, mri scans etc. After they left for the hospital I spent some time with my Brother who was sitting GCSEs that month. I tried to convince him that as she was now at hospital she would be fine. He was ok with that so eventually I went home to wait for news.
As soon as I got throught the door I could tell by my Husbands face that the news was not good. The Hospital had taken blood for tests and recommended that she "cut down on her drinking" as her liver was in terrible shape. Despite P insisting that Mum was a virtual teetotal that was their diagnosis and they wouldn't be changing it. He had to carry her to the car and bring her home laid on the back seat by now delirious and paralysed down her left side.
She made it through the night and the following morning he demanded an ambulance be sent immediately from the private hospital to bring her in. It only took a short while for her to be diagnosed as having meningitis, she was septic and she was dying. Drugs were given and more test were done.
I fell apart. I drove to nursery in tears to collect F early. I knew I wouldn't be able to face a crowd of Mums knowing mine was dying. I couldn't breath for the fear that I was losing her and knowing there was nothing I could do.
All the time I was thinking that meningitis was the worst thing that could have happened. Later that afternoon I got a phone call, Mum had a spinal abcess, she needed urgent surgery if she had any chance of surviving the night and the only man who could do it was operating 80 miles away. The plan was to blue-light her to this hospital and wait for him to finish. I arranged with my Husband to be back by morning, picked up my cousin and got in the car.
We arrived at the same time as the ambulance. P was pacing, we were pacing, nothing seemed to be happening. At about 10.30pm we were allowed to see her. The surgeon Dr B was trying to gauge how lucid she was and I have to say she never lost her sense of humour even asking where could she get a lamp stand similar to the one holding up her drip bag. It was explained to us all that to wait any longer would mean that she would die but the surgery was very risky and the chance of her coming out paralysed or permanently on a ventilator was very high. I didn't know at the time but P had given them a DNR order for her should anything go wrong.
So she went into theatre with me calling out "stay away from the light" after her.
We paced for hours, we discussed how "this is not how it was supposed to end" we cried and we waited, I begged God to let her come back to me.
The operation was finished by dawn, her vagus nerve was intact which meant she could breath by herself but the abcess had damaged her spine in the days it was growing and she was paralysed. I hugged Dr B, the tall, handsome father of 5 who had saved my Mothers life. I thanked God for her life and went home to take my children to school.
About a year earlier she had started to experence some shoulder pain and a long round of Doctors appointments followed. She has private health insurance so all the visits were quick and clean and helpful. It was finally suggested that she have a cortisone injection in her spine under ultrasound to ease the pain and give the shoulder a chance to recover. We discussed this option and came to the conclusion that it could only help, I mean...what could go wrong? Its only a jab.
The day after the injection she called me to say that she felt unwell and asked what I thought she should do. As my stepdad P, was at work, I told her to have a snack and a drink if she could, go to the toilet and then lay down. Thinking that (like a baby), at least she would be clean and fed and watered if she had to lay down for a while before he arrived home. Little did I know then how prophetic this would be.
When P came home from work and she was in a lot of pain, he called the Doctor who had given her the injection who advised pain killlers and rest.
The following morning she was even worse and another call was made. They arranged for the Doctor to visit later that day and Mums cleaner was left on duty while P went to work.
He came, not a lot happened and he left. He thought that it was just a side effect of the jab and that it would wear off soon. All the while she was in agony.
That Sunday was Mothers Day and I had planned to take the children to see her for lunch. P called early to say that Mum wasn't really up to visitors. I could tell by the tone of his voice that she was in a bad way so I left the children at home and drove to her.
When I arrved she was slumped in a wing back chair next to her bed,I honestly thought she was dead. She was so pale and her breathing was very shallow. P had been on the phone to the local private hospital begging them to send an ambulance to collect her but they insisted it wasn't necessary. I felt so helpless, I could see that she was dying but no-one would listen. I even considered calling the police, I was so confused. Finally he called an NHS ambulance and while we waited I collected all of her medical notes, x-rays, mri scans etc. After they left for the hospital I spent some time with my Brother who was sitting GCSEs that month. I tried to convince him that as she was now at hospital she would be fine. He was ok with that so eventually I went home to wait for news.
As soon as I got throught the door I could tell by my Husbands face that the news was not good. The Hospital had taken blood for tests and recommended that she "cut down on her drinking" as her liver was in terrible shape. Despite P insisting that Mum was a virtual teetotal that was their diagnosis and they wouldn't be changing it. He had to carry her to the car and bring her home laid on the back seat by now delirious and paralysed down her left side.
She made it through the night and the following morning he demanded an ambulance be sent immediately from the private hospital to bring her in. It only took a short while for her to be diagnosed as having meningitis, she was septic and she was dying. Drugs were given and more test were done.
I fell apart. I drove to nursery in tears to collect F early. I knew I wouldn't be able to face a crowd of Mums knowing mine was dying. I couldn't breath for the fear that I was losing her and knowing there was nothing I could do.
All the time I was thinking that meningitis was the worst thing that could have happened. Later that afternoon I got a phone call, Mum had a spinal abcess, she needed urgent surgery if she had any chance of surviving the night and the only man who could do it was operating 80 miles away. The plan was to blue-light her to this hospital and wait for him to finish. I arranged with my Husband to be back by morning, picked up my cousin and got in the car.
We arrived at the same time as the ambulance. P was pacing, we were pacing, nothing seemed to be happening. At about 10.30pm we were allowed to see her. The surgeon Dr B was trying to gauge how lucid she was and I have to say she never lost her sense of humour even asking where could she get a lamp stand similar to the one holding up her drip bag. It was explained to us all that to wait any longer would mean that she would die but the surgery was very risky and the chance of her coming out paralysed or permanently on a ventilator was very high. I didn't know at the time but P had given them a DNR order for her should anything go wrong.
So she went into theatre with me calling out "stay away from the light" after her.
We paced for hours, we discussed how "this is not how it was supposed to end" we cried and we waited, I begged God to let her come back to me.
The operation was finished by dawn, her vagus nerve was intact which meant she could breath by herself but the abcess had damaged her spine in the days it was growing and she was paralysed. I hugged Dr B, the tall, handsome father of 5 who had saved my Mothers life. I thanked God for her life and went home to take my children to school.
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
black, blue, green...
On Sunday morning while I was cleaning the kitchen and cooking breakfast my Husband was upstairs banging about. I wondered what he was doing but not enough to go and look. After we had eaten he said "come and see what I did", with that my blood ran a little colder....dun dun dun.
What he had done, he told me with great excitement was rearranged his wardrobe. "Look Fon, trousers one end and tops the other" Hmmm, I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. Eventually I settled on "thats fantastic Juanhave you ever looked in my wardrobe?" As it turns out he hadn't, so he did....
He opened the doors and stood in silence for at least 15 seconds while the horror of what was inside dawned on him. You see, I organise my clothes alphabetically by colour. Sunday was the day he realised he was "Sleeping with the Enemy"...
What he had done, he told me with great excitement was rearranged his wardrobe. "Look Fon, trousers one end and tops the other" Hmmm, I wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. Eventually I settled on "thats fantastic Juan
He opened the doors and stood in silence for at least 15 seconds while the horror of what was inside dawned on him. You see, I organise my clothes alphabetically by colour. Sunday was the day he realised he was "Sleeping with the Enemy"...
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
me...
1. My favorite colour is blue.
2. I hate mops.
3. I have no sense of smell.
4. My friends are the best in the world.
5. I love my Husband because he can always make me laugh (even when I am trying not to).
6. I love order. Even my friends have their boxes.
7. I was born in Islington and will always be a London girl at heart.
8. I wonder if I will ever get used to living in a big house.
9. I finished the London Marathon in 2001 - I was not last!
10. I am frightened of heights and spiders.
11. Odd numbers are wrong.
12. I can see into peoples minds- this is not always a good thing.
13. I hear voices as colours - as does my Son.
14. My Mum & Dad are really cool.
15. I prefer Phil & Fern to Richard & Judy - I do not like Eammon & Ruth on a Friday.
16. I never wanted a dishwasher or Sky, now I wonder how I lived this long without them.
17. Crunch crumble creams are my favorite biscuit.
18. I hate shopping, except in Costco, which I love.
19. My 3 sons are exactly what I hoped for. I would die for them.
20. I like my mobile phone to be just that - not a camera, mp3 or laptop substitute just a phone!
21. I don't get Madonna or U2.
22. I am not interested in politics even though I know I should be.
23. I am useless at building fires unlike Joe who was suspended from school for arsony.
24. I hate being cold.
25. I am devoid of sentiment and have very little "stuff" but lots of "baggage".
2. I hate mops.
3. I have no sense of smell.
4. My friends are the best in the world.
5. I love my Husband because he can always make me laugh (even when I am trying not to).
6. I love order. Even my friends have their boxes.
7. I was born in Islington and will always be a London girl at heart.
8. I wonder if I will ever get used to living in a big house.
9. I finished the London Marathon in 2001 - I was not last!
10. I am frightened of heights and spiders.
11. Odd numbers are wrong.
12. I can see into peoples minds- this is not always a good thing.
13. I hear voices as colours - as does my Son.
14. My Mum & Dad are really cool.
15. I prefer Phil & Fern to Richard & Judy - I do not like Eammon & Ruth on a Friday.
16. I never wanted a dishwasher or Sky, now I wonder how I lived this long without them.
17. Crunch crumble creams are my favorite biscuit.
18. I hate shopping, except in Costco, which I love.
19. My 3 sons are exactly what I hoped for. I would die for them.
20. I like my mobile phone to be just that - not a camera, mp3 or laptop substitute just a phone!
21. I don't get Madonna or U2.
22. I am not interested in politics even though I know I should be.
23. I am useless at building fires unlike Joe who was suspended from school for arsony.
24. I hate being cold.
25. I am devoid of sentiment and have very little "stuff" but lots of "baggage".
Saturday, 27 February 2010
If I could...
only blog without typing I would be a blog master. I blog everything I do but only in my head. By the time I get to the lappy its all old news to me. I need one of those contraptions that we used to see on Tomorrows World, it was on just after the bit about the flying car...you remember. You attached it to your head and plugged it into your brain somehow (that bit is blurry, I may have been in the toilet to be fair) and the words you thought would appear on a screen....ta dah!
Anyway what I am trying to say is "sorry" blog. I will do my best to come here at least once a week in future and give you a big wordy hug. x
Anyway what I am trying to say is "sorry" blog. I will do my best to come here at least once a week in future and give you a big wordy hug. x
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